The Hunj: Infrequently Asked Questions (IAQ)
Let's face it: FAQ are the questions only total morons ask. Any question I have is never in the FAQ because the answers are so obvious that anyone who takes a moment to try to find out the answer can easily do that without the help of the FAQ. Nobody really asks me any questions, but there are some questions that you SHOULD ask before buying any of my books, be they print or audio. Therefore, here is my list of IAQ, or QYSAFAMBYBMS, which stands for "Questions you should absolutely fucking ask me before you buy my shit."
1) Your cartoon cover art is so cute! Should I buy this for my child?
I would strongly advise against that! Unless you think it's okay for your little one to tell you, "hey mom, quit jerkin' me off!" then maybe you wanna skip this one and stick with "Goodnight Moon" or "Where the Sidewalk Ends." This is some seriously vulgar shit, and it's not for kids, the easily offended, those who are not easy to offend but do get offended at the harsher stuff, the churchgoing populace, old fuddyduds, and anyone who doesn't have a sick, twisted sense of humor.
2) Can I get a signed copy?
That's gonna be a little difficult right now. At this time, it's available only on Amazon.com for reasons I do not wish to get into right now. If you wanna send your book with a self-addressed container (one large enough to hold the book) to the address featured on the copyright page of each book, along with $5 to ship it back to you, I guess I can make that happen.
3) It says in your book that you are donating half the proceeds to charity. How do you determine the charities?
Well, in the event that my books ever net me "proceeds," I've been choosing two charities per book; I pick one, and I let the person writing the foreword pick the other. For Volume I, it was the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) and Ronald McDonald House. For Volume II, it's the American Diabetes Association (ADA) and the Association for Frontotemporal Dementia (AFTD). The person who wrote the foreword for Volume II lost her husband to FTD, and the disease is gaining national attention as American actor Bruce Willis has been diagnosed with it.
4) When does your next book come out?
I try to release once per year on August 8th. This is because the name Octavius means "eighth," so what better day to release than 8/8? My first audiobook was released on 2/8, one and a half years to the day after the book it is based on (Volume I) was released. That was luck more than anything else, as I cannot control when ACX releases it. I'll be releasing the audiobook for the second book late in March or in early April.